Curiosity
by The Crow and the Butterfly
Summary: Confused and curious, Misaki turns to the only one who'll understand to explore the possibilities of her alice. Mentions of T/M. One-shot.


Now, this is a weird one. But, honestly, I'm surprised nobody's ever written something like this before. If someone actually has and I've managed to miss it, please inform me.

This contains a bit of... what's the word? I think it's selfcest.

If that sounds disturbing at all, I wouldn't advise reading this. Just trying to make sure I don't completely mindfuck anyone.

So, enjoy then? (smiles)

* * *

_~ eleven ~_

Whatever Misaki was expecting to be behind the Special Ability room when she went to go see if there was a garden hose there, it wasn't the new kid with some girl. Well, she figured, she could add him to the list of people she didn't understand.

It's not like they were naked or anything. There wasn't anything terribly graphic going on. She wasn't completely ignorant; she knew people, people she knew, went around kissing each other. They could do what they wanted, she supposed. But she was at a loss to explain why they would even want to in the first place.

"I mean, _ew_," she vented to Tsubasa over fractions. "Why do people even _do _that?"

He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I dunno. Why're we even talking about kissing, anyway?"

"You're so unhelpful," she complained, idly twisting a strand of her hair around her finger.

Tsubasa watched her for a moment. "What were you expecting me to tell you? You think I know anything about kissing people?" he replied indignantly.

Staring out the window next to Tsubasa's seat, Misaki sighed heavily. "Do you think it's really as… I don't know, fun, as people say?"

"Fun?" he repeated confusedly, looking slightly frightened.

"Yeah." She frowned thoughtfully. "I just don't get how licking someone else's spit could possibly be a positive experience."

"You make it sound so gross."

"It _is_ so gross."

Tsubasa's eyebrows shot up. "How would you know?"

Misaki grinned, turning to him with an expression of amusement. "Perhaps I should find out, you know?" She rolled her eyes when his hand reflexively moved to his lips and his eyes widened to a practically impossible size. "Not with _you_, idiot_._"

"Who else do you know who would want to kiss you?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Who _else_?"

"Oh, you know what I mean," Tsubasa huffed. "Who are you planning to go after, then?"

Misaki sucked on her pen for a moment before inking the answer to question three in clear, even print. "I don't know. I'll figure something out, someday."

He craned his neck over her shoulder and scribbled down her answer on his own paper. "Good luck with that."

xx

Misaki stood in front of the mirror and pulled her hair into a cluttered ponytail. She held it there with her hand, then let it fall with a sigh. Her hair stuck out at a strange angle where she had held it, and she attacked it fiercely with a brush. This was stupid, she thought. People fussed too much about being attractive. What was the point?

Maybe that was why she didn't have any girl friends, she mused. She needed them, to tell the truth. She was beginning to doubt the worth of boy's advice. Tsubasa was her friend, sure, but sometimes he was totally useless.

That was when she remembered, suddenly sickened with herself. How had she managed to forget?

In seconds there were two people reflected in the mirror. "Long time, no see," muttered her duplicate crossly.

"Sorry about that, Misaki," the original said apologetically. "I've been kind of preoccupied lately."

"Tsubasa does take up a lot of your time, huh?"

"It's not that."

"It is that. Face it. We're not as close as we used to be."

The first Misaki turned and faced the second. "We're the same person. I'm you. You're me. We're the closest we could possibly be."

"I guess you're right," her doppelganger replied. She held a hand a few inches from her head, and strands of hair clung to it with static. "You want me to fix your hair or something?"

Misaki pulled over her desk chair and sat down, spinning herself in a circle before hooking her feet on the stationary base. "Sure, thanks."

Every now and then when she was very young, someone would ask who her best friend was. She would answer cheerfully and carelessly: "Misaki-chan!"

"Misaki-chan?" they would laugh. "But you're Misaki-chan!"

She would shake her head stubbornly. "Nuh-uh. The other Misaki-chan."

She had someone who shared her opinions and her interests. They would never fight, they would always agree. She was someone to talk to who would never make fun of her. Misaki was the perfect friend, her best friend. It was a shock to learn that she was unique in this respect. She couldn't fathom how people could get along without their Misaki (or, if she wanted to have a good pillowfight, play a game that was no fun with only two, or generally have a bigger crowd, Misakis in the plural).

In her early childhood, before the academy, she was rarely alone and was uncomfortable when she was. Her parents assumed she talked to a host of imaginary friends. It just took a while until someone commented to her unsuspecting mother about how twins were a handful. Soon after the incident, she found herself shipped off to a strange place with strange people.

It didn't matter. She had Misaki. They sat together during class, and talked to each other whenever no one else did. It made everything and anything better.

She couldn't remember exactly when she met Tsubasa Andou or exactly how they had ended up so close. He sat next to her and she had only figured that she may as well try to be friendly. At first he had been the kid she talked to when nothing interesting was going on. Before either of them knew it, they were well on their way to best friends. Real friends.

"What do you mean?" one of her triplicates had said indignantly when she mentioned that feeling one night. "We're just as real as he is."

"Being friends with yourself seems a bit pathetic, to tell the truth," pointed out another.

"Whatever." Misaki tossed a "T," an "R," and an "I" down on the Scrabble board in front of the already played "angle." "Like it matters. We're all friends, right?"

The person behind her snapped their fingers in front of her face, and Misaki looked up. "Sorry, spacing out."

"No kidding," said her doppelganger. "What are you thinking about so hard?"

"I dunno," she sighed. "Just stuff."

"You still on about all that kissing crap?" the second Misaki asked. The first tried to shake her head, but her hair was currently being brushed into a ponytail and deterred her from moving.

"Oh, you know," she sighed. "I don't get why this bugs me as much as it does."

"So true," her double agreed, idly twisting the tail of hair into a short braid. "This is really stupid."

Misaki stood up, turning to face her. She tugged on the braid, craning her neck to try and look at it in the mirror. "Thanks."

Her duplicate hooked her thumbs in her pockets, rocking back and forth on the ball of her feet. "No problem." They watched each other for a few moments, each trying to figure out if they were thinking the same thing.

"You don't think we should…?"

"I don't know, do you want to?"

"Do you?"

Brushing her bangs back from her face, Misaki blushed. "It'd be like… like… like kissing the back of your hand. Or your pillow, or something. Not weird."

"Perfectly normal," her doppelganger stated.

"Yeah."

"So," Misaki said. "Let's, shall we?"

She and her double locked eyes for a second, then hesitantly began to lean closer until their foreheads touched, mirroring each other's movements perfectly. One of them blinked rapidly as they brushed noses, the other gasped at the fluttering of eyelashes against her cheek. Feeling the need to get it over with, Misaki tilted her face and pressed her lips swiftly to hers.

They stayed immobile for several seconds, expectantly waiting for something to happen. Eventually, they parted. Misaki stared back into her own face, trying to gauge the reaction.

"Well, that was…" she searched for the word, "anticlimactic."

"I think you're sort of supposed to move, aren't you?" her doppelganger suggested.

"Move?" Misaki bit her lip thoughtfully. "You mean like, your tongue?"

"Yeah, something like that. You know how people look kind of like they're eating each other's faces?"

She shuddered. "Uh-huh. You think we should go for that?"

"Worth a shot," her duplicate shrugged.

Misaki leaned forward again to kiss her, this time a little more gracefully. She found her hands winding around her waist, her tongue sliding experimentally over her doppelganger's lower lip. Their lips moved together fluidly and their tongues met in the middle. The new sensations were disorienting, clouding her usually clear thought.

They broke apart, gasping.

"God," she said breathlessly. "That was weird."

"No kidding," the other replied. "Maybe it'd be… better… with a guy?"

Misaki nodded. "I'm banking on that."

After a moment of silence, the second Misaki turned her gaze back to the mirror. "You know, your hair really does look stupid like that." The original agreed wholeheartedly.

_~ fourteen ~_

She wasn't attracted to him. Not in any way. There were absolutely no feelings of sexual frustration directed at Tsubasa Andou, none whatsoever. In fact, she didn't think of him as a guy, anatomically, at all. More like a flat-chested girl.

She'd mentioned this to Tono once. He'd accused her of being a lesbian.

"Fine, brother and sister, then," she tried.

"Incest."

She'd always known there was a reason they weren't closer friends. It turned out to be his complete inability to listen to perfectly reasonable logic.

"It's that simple, really," he explained. "A guy and a girl can't be friends without eventually starting to lust over each other. It just doesn't happen."

"Maybe not to you," she hissed bitterly. "Not everyone's a sex fiend like you are."

He reached out for her chin and tilted her face up to look her in the eye. "No, listen to me. You might just think he's your 'guyfriend' or whatever, but believe you me. Boys don't hang around girls for this long because of your personality like how you'd like to think. They hang around because they hope someday you'll get drunk and they'll get lucky."

"You're disgusting," she replied. "You know that, right?"

"Alright, I'm hardly the emotional type," he admitted. "But it's true. Ask any guy. Except for Tsubasa, who'll lie."

"Men are morons," Misaki mumbled, kicking a rock and watching it skitter down the path.

"Deal with it," Tono countered, lazily lighting a cigarette.

Misaki couldn't comprehend the whole deal with sex. What sort of thing was this that could mess with people's heads like it did? Didn't people have better things to think about?

According to Tono, apparently not. As much as she doubted the quality of his advice, he knew more about this crap than she did.

She and her classmates had been shot unceremoniously headfirst into the age when sex was the biggest joke around. They giggled in the backs of classrooms, snickered at the annual Sex Ed lecture, and began to ask Misaki progressively more intrusive questions regarding the nature of her relationship with Tsubasa.

"Really, it's nothing so…"

"Juicy?" Megane suggested.

"Um, _ew_!" she gasped, whacking him sharply on the shoulder. "There's nothing going on, and you know it!"

"Are you sure he'll agree with you there?"

"Oh, no, in his world, we've been hooking up all the time," Misaki replied scathingly. "Of _course_ he knows we're not together. Do you think he's completely retarded?"

"You never know," pointed out Megane.

She found herself wishing for the thousandth time for friends that were girls. As she got older, it was hardly enlightening to ask herself for advice. She still enjoyed the company of Misaki, but when looking for a difference of opinion, it wasn't much use.

She'd confided this to Tono as well. Somehow, they'd managed to get totally off-topic. He seemed more preoccupied with how she used her alice than her need for female companionship.

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. "You'll only clone yourself for card games and chores and company? There're so many possibilities."

"Do I want to know what you're talking about?" sighed Misaki.

"What I mean is, you could do some crazy kinky stuff with this whole doppelganger thing."

Misaki leaned forward on the table and rested her chin in her hand, arching an eyebrow. "Kinky _how_?"

He chuckled, leaning back in his chair and brushing back his hair. "Don't tell me you've never thought about screwing yourself?"

She gaped at him, her cheeks flaming. "Why on _earth _would I want to do that?"

"Just to see what would happen," he explained. "It's what I would do if I could split myself. It seems like it would be easier, in a way."

"Easier than _what_?"

By this time, Tono had thrown his head back and was laughing in earnest. "That'd be great, like live lesbian identical-twin porn… You wouldn't mind letting me watch, would you?"

Misaki glared at him disdainfully. "You are easily the most revolting human being I have ever met."

He put up his hands in surrender. "Kidding, kidding. Mostly. My God, you've got to see the look on your face…"

He'd ended up with a black eye. Man, she had to stop talking to him.

xx

Puberty's a bitch. Everybody knows that. People find themselves doing some crazy things. But Misaki had never imagined herself doing something like this. Perhaps she wouldn't have even thought about it, if only she was friends with normal people.

But, then again, there was an equal chance that she would have been driven over the edge by curiosity no matter what.

Curiosity. That's what had her shakily unbuttoning her blouse with a perfect copy of herself doing the same. They didn't speak; they both knew why she was here. Each folded their shirt neatly and placed them on a chair, then systematically began to unbutton their plaid skirt.

Straps slid down over shoulders, bands were clumsily unfastened, garments fell to the floor, and Misaki observed herself completely naked. Taking a deep breath and arching her eyebrows at her doppelganger, they communicated silently. She nodded almost imperceptibly, and they reached an agreement.

It was no longer bizarre. Misaki was losing herself in her kisses, her hands reaching out for the slender curve of her waist. Her lips brushed every part of her neck, settling on the tender spot behind her jaw. As her double let out a quiet gasp of blissful surprise, she felt a sudden rush of satisfaction. By the time this was over, her goal was going to be to discover every vulnerable spot her body had.

Misaki allowed her copy to take over, nibbling slightly on her collarbone. This was invigorating, she decided, and that was her only distinct thought. She usually prided herself on being a practical person, but now she was doing this just, as Tono had put it, to see what would happen. She was judging by the feeling and overruling her head completely.

Oddly, as she felt a hand tentatively skim her breasts, she didn't have a problem with that.

Heated kisses trailed across her chest and Misaki inhaled sharply at the sensations she hadn't been expecting. Her hands slid up her duplicate's spine, securing them closer together as she gasped for breath. She reveled in the entrancing closeness, but was caught off guard when a hand slipped adventurously between her legs.

She was mildly surprised. It didn't seem the type of feeling that people would obsess over. She had expected some sort of ecstasy, but she had to suppose that this was hardly a case of instant gratification.

Her legs were trembling underneath her, finally giving out when she was touched in just the right spot. The two of them collapsed back onto the bed, kissing fervently. Misaki's legs tangled with those of her doppelganger, craving the smooth contact of their skin. A knot in her stomach constricted as they went on, and she had to remind herself to breathe.

It ended before she knew what was going on. She felt the knot tighten unbearably, moving lower until it finally uncoiled within her. The pair fell together, their breath coming in ragged gasps. Misaki's heartbeat resounded in her ears, and seemed louder than a bass drum. She lay quietly with her doppelganger, waiting for the pulsing of their hearts to slow and silently enjoying the notion of intimacy.

Misaki felt like she ought to say something, but the words never came. Instead, she drifted into fitful sleep; only one pair of clothes remaining folded tidily on the bedside chair.

_~ nineteen ~_

This, she knew, was utter bliss.

Their bodies moved perfectly together, he knew her better than the back of his hand. She would be perfectly content to spend hours in his arms, just enjoying his presence, wavering on the edge of sleep. The taste of his lips, the feel of his skin… She loved it. She knew it was all terribly clichéd to say, but God, she loved it.

Tsubasa's head nuzzled gently into the curve where her shoulder met her neck, his arms winding tighter around her waist. Misaki welcomed his touch, moaning softly as he pressed tender kisses on the sensitive skin.

He'd mentioned the whole doppelganger sex thing once, whispering into the darkness one time when he'd showed up in her room in the middle of the night and woken up there in the morning.

"You've been writing to Tono, haven't you," she laughed quietly.

"See," he breathed, relieved. "It wasn't my idea. He's sick."

"You're into it, though, aren't you?" Misaki murmured.

Tsubasa stroked the hair out of her eyes, kissing her smoothly. "Not if you're not."

She wound her arms around his neck, smirking slightly. "What do you want, a crazy Misaki orgy?"

His eyes widened so much that they were even noticeable in the lack of light. "God, no! I mean, oh God… I don't know."

"Maybe on your birthday, then," Misaki replied, a hint of laughter still apparent in her tone.

Tsubasa cradled her close, his lips brushing her ear as he spoke. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"It's not that bad, really," she said. "Actually, once you get past the whole idea of it, it's kind of nice."

He jumped back, startled. "Wait, hold on. You mean you've actually _done _this?"

She chuckled softly at his reaction. "Yeah, so?"

"Let me get this straight," he said disbelievingly. "You've been cheating on me with yourself?"

Misaki snorted indignantly. "Same way you've been cheating on me with your hand."

Tsubasa settled back next to her, anchoring her firmly to his side. "Touché."

Her reminiscence trailed off as his hands wandered between her legs, caressing her in that certain way that she loved. She sighed in exhaustion, giving in. Tsubasa leaned down to kiss her sweetly on the lips, drawing a slight smile.

"Happy birthday," Misaki whispered.

"Oh, it was," he replied.

* * *

And on that note... (cough)

Man, it was really hard to make Misaki's doppelgangers sound like more Misaki's. I kept wanting to write them like her conscience.

I have a feeling I totally failed the lemon. And everything else, but I'm always like that (kicks self).

Reviews? Did you love it? Do you think I'm a sicko? Preferably, I wouldn't like to hear the latter, but, people will think what people will think.

-TCATB


End file.
